Baby, I know we're now facing a crisis. The correct thing that we did is that we highlighted that tehre is an immenient crisis. Now is the tiem we reflect and think through what's wrong and probably find solutions.
Firstly, I realised that there's fewer heart-to-heart talk between us; lesser communication. Why? Could it be because we think we know each other too well? Or is there less trust between us? truth to be told, I don't know you well. Not that i don't know you at all, but there are still a lot of things we have to learn from each other. Trust has been a very big topic in our relationship. I trust you, without a doubt. We shouldn't just talk about our daily happenings but bring it up to a higher level, talking about how we feel, emotional talks, confessions. We used to be able to confide in each other, like best friends. But what has happened to that. I know I'm not much of a vocal person. So i really need you to prompt me, to start the ball rolling. I'm also doing my part to voice out more, but more often than not, you end up disagreeing with what i said; ending up being angry and upset. It sucks to see you being upset, thus, there is a tendency for me to keep things to myself so as not to make you upset. I really need you to understand how i feel sometimes. Sympathsize me, listen to me and refute me less.
Moreover, I realised i often get angry with you whenever you talk about your friends as pointed out by you. Upon reflecting, I've come out with these reasons. I am jealous of the time taht your friend can spend with you. Compared to the 5 days a week, i only get barely 2 days with you. Moreover, your friends are often able to company you to concerts, parties and whatever things that occus on weekdays while i'm not able to. This kind of make me dislike your friends as they are like "stealing" you from me by being able to spend so much time with you. I know it's selfish of me to say so but that's how I feel. Furthermore, I don't really understand your friends. It's not that you have to introduce every single friend of your to me, but I just want to know your friends more. Isn't it always to have more friends than enemies? A suggestion would be that you introduce your friends to me. It's just a suggestion, nothing else. Also, to tell you the truth, I do not have many friends from my past. I do not maintain contacts with my secondary friends, my primary school friends. I do not cherish friends, i do not know the importance of friendship. Hence, I don't know how important friends are to you. I really need to learn that. I'm very sorry about it.
Why are we gradually going to the phase of "taking each othe for granted" as mentioned by you. is it because of complacency? that we think that our relationship is a formidable fortress. Or is it just sheer disillusion on our part? I don't want to take you for granted. I really love you with all my might and wish this won't end anytime soon. I know that we still have that love for each other, so let's try to make this work. I really pray for the best for both of us.
You asked me to think about what i want from you and what to expect from this relationship. I've come up with a list. I want your understanding, to lend me a listening ear when there;s a need to. To be able to put up with my boring talks, rantings, complains as well as to my displeasure. I don't want you to be angry with me whenever i say anything negative with regards to you. Listen and refute if you want but don't get angry so easily.
I want no secrets in this relationship. As much as possible, we should open up to each other, confide with one another, talk to each other. This would help to prevent any misunderstandings, and disagreements between us; helps to clear the air.
I want to learn to be independent, to be less insecure, to learn the importance of friendship. You have to give me time to learn all these. I'm really trying my very best to learn all these and hopefully everything turn out to e for the better. I admit that i need to acquire all these basic traits before i can be a better person, before any issues can be solved.
Lastly, I want you to be happy. Happy that you're able to be my the other half in this relationship, happy to be able to be with me. If you're happy, i'll be happy and there'll be happiness i this relatinship. This would probably lead to a more lasting relationship.I sincerely hope and pray that this would be able to last as long as it can. There are bound to have hiccups in relationship. We need to learn to compromise and understand each other weakness. To give in when there's a need to.
This is mostly what I've reflected. I know that this post is not perfect as there could be other problems that I've not highlighted. Enlighten me baby as we go on; I really need your advice and your guidance along the way. I admit taht i'm immature, imperfect and sometimes stupid. I need you to explain things to me and remind me to look at the bigger picture. You're more mature than i am, thus, i need your guidance.
I love you. This is not just 3 simple words that randomly come out from my mouth (or rather it's more apt to say from my typing). I need you now more than ever as we're going through this phase of confusion, of finding out the ultimate truth. I know that there's still hope for us. We just need to know how to finetune our problems and straighten things out. I hope this timeout would be fruitful, would be able to help us settle any outstanding issues we have. Hope we'd be able to meet this sunday to talk things out. I'm intending to go for a swim this sunday since we missed it last week. then we could sit down and talk things out. I miss you terribly, need to hear from you. Love you syafeeqah, as always. <3
Friday, July 29, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
OBSERVATIONS.
It's been so damn long since I last posted. Like more than half a year. Wonder if you still visit this blog or even remember it's existence.
Decided to post something cos I've got nothing better to do.
You've been very busy for the past few weeks. Busy with camp, with rag, with costumes.
We haven't been spending much time together. Weekdays I've got army, your weekends don't seem to have a lot of free time. I'm not blaming you, just stating out what I'd observed.
Something else i observed is that you're using your phone more and more often. Evem when you're with me, you're using your phone. To reply messages, to go on facebook. Why is it that you must reply your friend like instantly and that you've to check on your facebook so often. This did not happen last time, but why is it now? Is it because your friends are more important that it makes the importance of spending whatever little time we are left with together insignificant. I really don't understand.
I'm not angry or whatever, but i just want to understand your rationale.
I really want to spend more time with you, trying to plan so that I can fit into your busy schedule.
I know it's unfair for you to spend your weekends with me, (cos you've got your parents to pacify) so why not make our meetings more meaningful?
I've been craving to eat ice cream for a long time but haven't really went to eat. Really hope we can go and get some nice, delicious ice cream real soon.
Swimming, flying kite, picnic are some of the things we haven't done in a very long time.
Baby, I don't wish to say this but you seem to have a better time with your friends than when you're with me.
Why is that so? Or is it even true? Are your friends more important than me?
Please give me an answer, though I guess I won't since you don't seem to visit this blog anymore.
I love you as much as before and am trying my very best to accomodate with you. I'm not complaining but it's give and take in relationship. We must learn how to give in with each other.
I don't want to quarrel with you. I seriously don't like it. So lets fight less and love each other more.
I remember the times when we were in JC, We were so happy, confiding with each other like best freinds. Why don't we do the same now, telling each other how we feel.
I feel that there seems to be a wall, a barrier between us since you entered Uni. Why is there an imaginary gap between us? There shouldn't be any in the first place.
Also, you seemed to change upon entering Uni. Like you became more vulgar, starting to discriminate some of my actions, using your phone more often and stuff like that.
I really need answers. Please give me something, answers or whatever. I don't want to live with all these doubts in my head. I need you to enlighten me.
I love you as always, baby. I hope you still love me as much.
As the name suggest, You're the BESTESTEST I EVER HAVE and it still holds TRUE up till now.
Keep the love going baby. I miss you so much even as I'm writing this post. You're the light of my life. Please have a good rest and dream of me while you're sleeping.
There will be more tough times, more attachments ahead. But lets face it together, and try to spend more time with each other.
Smile more baby, you've not been smiling much when you're with me.
Reply my questions if you still visit this blog. I'm waiting for your answers.
Love you SYA!!!
Decided to post something cos I've got nothing better to do.
You've been very busy for the past few weeks. Busy with camp, with rag, with costumes.
We haven't been spending much time together. Weekdays I've got army, your weekends don't seem to have a lot of free time. I'm not blaming you, just stating out what I'd observed.
Something else i observed is that you're using your phone more and more often. Evem when you're with me, you're using your phone. To reply messages, to go on facebook. Why is it that you must reply your friend like instantly and that you've to check on your facebook so often. This did not happen last time, but why is it now? Is it because your friends are more important that it makes the importance of spending whatever little time we are left with together insignificant. I really don't understand.
I'm not angry or whatever, but i just want to understand your rationale.
I really want to spend more time with you, trying to plan so that I can fit into your busy schedule.
I know it's unfair for you to spend your weekends with me, (cos you've got your parents to pacify) so why not make our meetings more meaningful?
I've been craving to eat ice cream for a long time but haven't really went to eat. Really hope we can go and get some nice, delicious ice cream real soon.
Swimming, flying kite, picnic are some of the things we haven't done in a very long time.
Baby, I don't wish to say this but you seem to have a better time with your friends than when you're with me.
Why is that so? Or is it even true? Are your friends more important than me?
Please give me an answer, though I guess I won't since you don't seem to visit this blog anymore.
I love you as much as before and am trying my very best to accomodate with you. I'm not complaining but it's give and take in relationship. We must learn how to give in with each other.
I don't want to quarrel with you. I seriously don't like it. So lets fight less and love each other more.
I remember the times when we were in JC, We were so happy, confiding with each other like best freinds. Why don't we do the same now, telling each other how we feel.
I feel that there seems to be a wall, a barrier between us since you entered Uni. Why is there an imaginary gap between us? There shouldn't be any in the first place.
Also, you seemed to change upon entering Uni. Like you became more vulgar, starting to discriminate some of my actions, using your phone more often and stuff like that.
I really need answers. Please give me something, answers or whatever. I don't want to live with all these doubts in my head. I need you to enlighten me.
I love you as always, baby. I hope you still love me as much.
As the name suggest, You're the BESTESTEST I EVER HAVE and it still holds TRUE up till now.
Keep the love going baby. I miss you so much even as I'm writing this post. You're the light of my life. Please have a good rest and dream of me while you're sleeping.
There will be more tough times, more attachments ahead. But lets face it together, and try to spend more time with each other.
Smile more baby, you've not been smiling much when you're with me.
Reply my questions if you still visit this blog. I'm waiting for your answers.
Love you SYA!!!
Friday, November 12, 2010
Syafeeqah, my loved one
Baby. Do you still visit this blog? Please leave a comment if you do, so i know this blog's still alive.
Lol. Just joking la.
This blog is filled with our memories, mostly mine with you. Haha.
I started out this blog as a surprise for your birthday. Now it seem as if its like lifeless.
No time to blog about anything.
Its great that we survived both of my overseas trip. It simply happened too fast. Like i flew to 2 different places in just a short span of 2 months. Insane.
You know how much i missed you during both trips. Moreover, i was in Taiwan during your birthday but i hoped i made up for my absence after my return.
Australia was even worse. Coudn't text you much or even call you. Got so much to tell you back then. Wanted and needed to hear from you but just couldn't.
Thankfully I'm back now, able to see you and touch you and feel you physically.
I love you baby more than anything else in this world do.
Looking back at those pictures made me want to relieve those past memories, those happy moments, those crazy and simply fun fun fun moments.
Not that I'm not happy now, but last time was just simply adventerous, trying out new things.
Not that we've ran out of things to do or I'm sick of what we're doing now. Its just the feeling.
for instance, the sneaking you into my room, drinking at fort canning. Or just simply a lovely picinic with you at the botanics.
All these are awesome memories that well, I will never forget.
You've left such a deep mark in my mind, my heart, my soul that i will never forget.
You're the bestest ever (as the blog name suggest) and the one i'm closest with.
Love you for being you and for all the things we've went through.
I LOVE YOU SYAFEEQAH!!!!!!!!!!! (echoing from the bottom of weekiat's heart)
Lol. Just joking la.
This blog is filled with our memories, mostly mine with you. Haha.
I started out this blog as a surprise for your birthday. Now it seem as if its like lifeless.
No time to blog about anything.
Its great that we survived both of my overseas trip. It simply happened too fast. Like i flew to 2 different places in just a short span of 2 months. Insane.
You know how much i missed you during both trips. Moreover, i was in Taiwan during your birthday but i hoped i made up for my absence after my return.
Australia was even worse. Coudn't text you much or even call you. Got so much to tell you back then. Wanted and needed to hear from you but just couldn't.
Thankfully I'm back now, able to see you and touch you and feel you physically.
I love you baby more than anything else in this world do.
Looking back at those pictures made me want to relieve those past memories, those happy moments, those crazy and simply fun fun fun moments.
Not that I'm not happy now, but last time was just simply adventerous, trying out new things.
Not that we've ran out of things to do or I'm sick of what we're doing now. Its just the feeling.
for instance, the sneaking you into my room, drinking at fort canning. Or just simply a lovely picinic with you at the botanics.
All these are awesome memories that well, I will never forget.
You've left such a deep mark in my mind, my heart, my soul that i will never forget.
You're the bestest ever (as the blog name suggest) and the one i'm closest with.
Love you for being you and for all the things we've went through.
I LOVE YOU SYAFEEQAH!!!!!!!!!!! (echoing from the bottom of weekiat's heart)
Monday, July 12, 2010
HOPE
Baby, so many things just happened and we simply got no time to react.
I was simply shocked to hear that your mother discovered photos of us and even more. I really didn't know how to respond to it and was just stunned. If she did really call me i really wou;dn't know what to say.
About us, it just seems that both of us are busy; you with your camp and uni stuffs, me with my army life. It just seems that all these things clash with one another and we simply do not have time to meet up. Moreover, we have to keep low for the time being, fearing that your mother would suspect something if you go out for too long. Sigh. It just sucks not being able to see you or even talk to you. maybe you have just found a new circle of friends and i shouldn't be selfish to keep you by my side. Shouldn't tie you up and deprive you of the chance to go make new friends. Dunno. Maybe its just me. I dunno.
How i wish we could spend times like in the past before I went into army. We could go out like no one's business, do things as we like, do crazy and sweet things, do things only the both of us can do, talk to you like there's no end. How i wish that could happen now, even for a day or two. I really miss going out with you, spending quality time with you, chatting with you. Somehow all these seems to be diminishing. I really hope that we could spend some time talking out these stuffs, clearing out the air and make things better for both of us.
It just sucks to make you angry cos of small little things. I dunno. I miss you so much. really need you now more than ever. But i know i shouldn't be selfish for you do not belong to me entirely. I sincerely hope that things could be better for both of us.
I missed you baby. Love you very much as always. My love for you would never change for you have f-ed me up and over. Wish we could meet up someday soon. Love you SYAFEEQAH. my life would suck WITHOUT YOU. Love you. wonder if you would read this post cos this blog is like damn ancient. Anyway, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY MIGHT. Can't love anyone more than you. LOVE YOU SYAFEEQAH.
I was simply shocked to hear that your mother discovered photos of us and even more. I really didn't know how to respond to it and was just stunned. If she did really call me i really wou;dn't know what to say.
About us, it just seems that both of us are busy; you with your camp and uni stuffs, me with my army life. It just seems that all these things clash with one another and we simply do not have time to meet up. Moreover, we have to keep low for the time being, fearing that your mother would suspect something if you go out for too long. Sigh. It just sucks not being able to see you or even talk to you. maybe you have just found a new circle of friends and i shouldn't be selfish to keep you by my side. Shouldn't tie you up and deprive you of the chance to go make new friends. Dunno. Maybe its just me. I dunno.
How i wish we could spend times like in the past before I went into army. We could go out like no one's business, do things as we like, do crazy and sweet things, do things only the both of us can do, talk to you like there's no end. How i wish that could happen now, even for a day or two. I really miss going out with you, spending quality time with you, chatting with you. Somehow all these seems to be diminishing. I really hope that we could spend some time talking out these stuffs, clearing out the air and make things better for both of us.
It just sucks to make you angry cos of small little things. I dunno. I miss you so much. really need you now more than ever. But i know i shouldn't be selfish for you do not belong to me entirely. I sincerely hope that things could be better for both of us.
I missed you baby. Love you very much as always. My love for you would never change for you have f-ed me up and over. Wish we could meet up someday soon. Love you SYAFEEQAH. my life would suck WITHOUT YOU. Love you. wonder if you would read this post cos this blog is like damn ancient. Anyway, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY MIGHT. Can't love anyone more than you. LOVE YOU SYAFEEQAH.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Sigh. What a week ahead.
Baby, I'm having my block leave now but you still got work to do.
Sigh. I was so looking forward to this block leave cos i thought i can spend more time with you after 9 weeks in the army, but then you have your responsibility of your work.
Wanted to spend more time with you, stay by your side but sigh...
Cam't take leave, can't go out. Sigh. What a block leave.
Can't blame you since you're so indispensible at work and have to fulfill your responsibility.
Maybe its retribution for me cos i was unable to spend time with you while i was in army.
Maybe its just fate that we can't spend so much time together. I dunno.
But i really want to spend more time with you. More quality time.
Though i can still see you during your lunch break, i bet thats the only time i get to see you.
Sigh. This is killing me. Not your fault that you got work, but its my fault that i got my block leave now. Sigh.
Forget it. Have fun at work. Dunno. Hope to spend more lunch breaks with you.
Love you baby. Have a great week ahead. I love you as much.
Don be too depressed about this thing. It isn't your fault. No one saw it coming.
Please cheer up. Sorry for giving you so much unpleasant feelings, had to suffer so much of my rubbish and tolerate so much of my nonsense. I'm so sorry for everything i said and did. dunno.
This thing just make me feel worse. I dunno. Not your fault though. Yeah.
Anyway, enjoy your work since you can't go out with me. Will drop by more often for lunch with you. Love you. Have a great week ahead.
I love you SYAFEEQAH.
Sigh. I was so looking forward to this block leave cos i thought i can spend more time with you after 9 weeks in the army, but then you have your responsibility of your work.
Wanted to spend more time with you, stay by your side but sigh...
Cam't take leave, can't go out. Sigh. What a block leave.
Can't blame you since you're so indispensible at work and have to fulfill your responsibility.
Maybe its retribution for me cos i was unable to spend time with you while i was in army.
Maybe its just fate that we can't spend so much time together. I dunno.
But i really want to spend more time with you. More quality time.
Though i can still see you during your lunch break, i bet thats the only time i get to see you.
Sigh. This is killing me. Not your fault that you got work, but its my fault that i got my block leave now. Sigh.
Forget it. Have fun at work. Dunno. Hope to spend more lunch breaks with you.
Love you baby. Have a great week ahead. I love you as much.
Don be too depressed about this thing. It isn't your fault. No one saw it coming.
Please cheer up. Sorry for giving you so much unpleasant feelings, had to suffer so much of my rubbish and tolerate so much of my nonsense. I'm so sorry for everything i said and did. dunno.
This thing just make me feel worse. I dunno. Not your fault though. Yeah.
Anyway, enjoy your work since you can't go out with me. Will drop by more often for lunch with you. Love you. Have a great week ahead.
I love you SYAFEEQAH.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Bored. Haha.
Yo baby. You're now busy helping out and stuffs. Haha. Nevermind that you don have time to talk to me or text me. I love you.
I had fun spending time with you yesterday. It felt so great and awesome to be able to see you and spend quality time with you after not being able to see you for a million years.
It has been long since i last posted. Haha.
Its so fast that 6 weeks just passed like that. But its kind of good. Heh.
Now i dunno what to apply for. Don have any idea what to study. All just seem so boring to me. Dunno. Maybe will try dentistry or maths. Next choice might be accountancy then engineering. I also dunno. Maybe i go nursing with you, become nurse. Heh.
Dunno la. I miss you terribly. Dread to go back, can't see you. Miss you very much baby.
Hope you have a great week ahead. Have fun at work, seems slack. Eat well, sleep well and think of me like how you'll always be in my mind. I love you SYAFEEQAH. Can't get you off my mind.
Love you baby. Can't wait till the next time i see you again.
LOVE YOU VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY MUCH.
I had fun spending time with you yesterday. It felt so great and awesome to be able to see you and spend quality time with you after not being able to see you for a million years.
It has been long since i last posted. Haha.
Its so fast that 6 weeks just passed like that. But its kind of good. Heh.
Now i dunno what to apply for. Don have any idea what to study. All just seem so boring to me. Dunno. Maybe will try dentistry or maths. Next choice might be accountancy then engineering. I also dunno. Maybe i go nursing with you, become nurse. Heh.
Dunno la. I miss you terribly. Dread to go back, can't see you. Miss you very much baby.
Hope you have a great week ahead. Have fun at work, seems slack. Eat well, sleep well and think of me like how you'll always be in my mind. I love you SYAFEEQAH. Can't get you off my mind.
Love you baby. Can't wait till the next time i see you again.
LOVE YOU VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY MUCH.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
A depressing phase
Baby, it has been long since i last posted. Now i'm posting this before i depart to army.
I know it is hard for both of us to part for such a long time, but it can't be help. I'm very sorry that you had to go through this with me.
Pardon me for making you cry and depressed cos of this shit.
I am sad to leave you and can't bear to part with you.
I know you're sad, far worse than upset and i can't do anything to help you.
Please don be sad and look on the brighter side. Don wallow yourself in sorrow, i don want you to be sad.
you must stay happy, happy that we're together, happy of the awesome times we spent together, happy that we are so loving and so in love with each other in every way possible.
I'll miss you very much and will think of you always when i'm inside.
Hope you'll be able to find something to do to kill time so you won't be too bored without me around.
You can meet up with your friends, go for your work, make new friends there, play with the new born baby, miss me, think of me and most of all STAY HAPPY ALWAYS.
Hope nothing severe will happen to you when i'm gone. You can always confide in me whenever you're upset or anything. Please do not keep it to yourself. When i'm out you can always talk to me.
To be honest, i'm rather afraid to go in, afraid of what might happen, afraid of what is going to happen, afraid of you being bored and lonely...
But i know you will go through this depressing phase and start living a fruitful life.
Please do not do anything silly when i'm not around, anything that would upset me, anything that will make you regret for life, anything that you do not actually want to do.
Please stay happy for my sake and not be depressed.
I love you SYAFEEQAH. thank you for every moment that you spent with me and everything that we've been through.
Never have i loved someone so dearly and never have i been so happy before.
You're the BESTEST ever and i love you in every way possible.
Take care and have a good year ahead.
I LOVE YOU BABY. CAN'T BEAR TO LEAVE YOU. :(
I know it is hard for both of us to part for such a long time, but it can't be help. I'm very sorry that you had to go through this with me.
Pardon me for making you cry and depressed cos of this shit.
I am sad to leave you and can't bear to part with you.
I know you're sad, far worse than upset and i can't do anything to help you.
Please don be sad and look on the brighter side. Don wallow yourself in sorrow, i don want you to be sad.
you must stay happy, happy that we're together, happy of the awesome times we spent together, happy that we are so loving and so in love with each other in every way possible.
I'll miss you very much and will think of you always when i'm inside.
Hope you'll be able to find something to do to kill time so you won't be too bored without me around.
You can meet up with your friends, go for your work, make new friends there, play with the new born baby, miss me, think of me and most of all STAY HAPPY ALWAYS.
Hope nothing severe will happen to you when i'm gone. You can always confide in me whenever you're upset or anything. Please do not keep it to yourself. When i'm out you can always talk to me.
To be honest, i'm rather afraid to go in, afraid of what might happen, afraid of what is going to happen, afraid of you being bored and lonely...
But i know you will go through this depressing phase and start living a fruitful life.
Please do not do anything silly when i'm not around, anything that would upset me, anything that will make you regret for life, anything that you do not actually want to do.
Please stay happy for my sake and not be depressed.
I love you SYAFEEQAH. thank you for every moment that you spent with me and everything that we've been through.
Never have i loved someone so dearly and never have i been so happy before.
You're the BESTEST ever and i love you in every way possible.
Take care and have a good year ahead.
I LOVE YOU BABY. CAN'T BEAR TO LEAVE YOU. :(
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